Jan 8th: Delayed contentment

Delayed start. Full force today. 3 collages in one day do-able? What I was feeling yesterday was inspired. I had lost 6 pounds in five days.  If I could do this I could do anything.  A job (that requires me to still be 13 pounds lighter), which I have been putting off for months is re-appearing in the picture.  I feel inspired that I can do this cleanse, I can do anything. 50% of the cleanse done!

Jan 6: Master day 3

Master Cleanse day 3...better. Some pangs of hunger, which i drank down with my lemonade concoction. I can feel my pajama pants loosening, which validates this fast. One week from today and I will be done. Do-able right?  Once I get to day five, it's downhill from there.  The background of Mele Kalikimaka rings true, Hawaii sometimes calls out to me some days more than other.  I heard once that Hawaii will either embrace you or hate you. Hawaii is calling, will I answer?

Jan 5: Delayed Blah

I am writing this a day late Jan 6 for Jan 5. Blah. 2nd day of the master cleanse: no energy, headaches, eye aches. Went to bed early at 7:30, woke up at 5:15 today and still tired. Drained. Hopefully it will get better from here 20% done, 80% to go.

Jan 4: Master Cleanse Day 1

The first Monday of 2010, dreaded as most Mondays are.  Why not add more excruciating pain to the day by starting the Master Cleanse?  This is actually my fifth time doing the master cleanse. I have planned it perfectly.  Holiday parties are over.  My chef fiance is still out of town, therefore no delicious temptations to fill my home.  And of course, it is the beginning of the year, when resolutions are still fresh.

 I decided to proclaim my fast to my co-workers today, who also have been known to tempt me to exciting out of office lunches.  Making a goal known reportedly creates accountability.  The minimum recommended time on the cleanse is 10 days, with a maximum being 40 days.  I am shooting for at least 10, and this time i know I can do it.  8 pm on day 1 not as bad, but why did I gain two pounds from this morning? Let's hope we see different results in the remaining nine days.

Jan 3:High School Dreams

I had a dream last night of a high school/early twenties crush: Steve Weisbrod.  (Of course all crushes must include an entire name: Jordan Catalano from MSCL or Ben Covington from Felicity).   He was a senior during my sophomore year and looked like a baby faced Leo.   My friends and I idolized that whole class of '95 as celebrities.   In some ways they still are compartmentalized as a representation of adolescent Greek gods.  In the dream, Steve clearly delineated our lines between hooking up and relationships.  We would could fit into the former, but not the latter.  He was speaking to me in infantile terms, as if I could not comprehend or see signs.  In reality, the sophomoric crush transformed one night  around the age of 22.  It was then that I was clueless, did not take hints.

This morning, I awoke at 530 am, so why am I now dreaming of Steve years later?

I could not help but laugh when I realized the reason why the dream appeared last night.  I watched the hilarious All About Steve earlier that day.  Sandra Bullock played a 30 something eccentric clueless female stalker obsessed with a guy named Steve that she had a brief blind date with.  Bradley Cooper was Steve.  (Aren't guys named Brad always movie heartthrobs? Teen Witch.) A blondie, like my Steve, who had to repeatedly clarify his disinterest in Sandra, because she would not take a hint.  

I love how our unconscious can play with our memories from years ago and parallel them into our daily lives, even if only from movie titles and themes.  I know my days of being a sophomore were over 15 years ago.  Yet instantly our dreams can take us back into those awkward hormone driven teenage bodies.  Those '95 seniors will continue to reappear in my dreams as representations of my untouchable muses.  Hopefully now I have learned to take hints.

Jan 2

I am proud of myself day 3 of my collaged blog and going strong.  It is not even 7 am on a Saturday morning and this task is first on my list.  This may be longer than any other blog I have attempted to complete.  I need to ensure I stick with it, as we do for all our New Years resolutions.  I look back at this past year and wonder was it so bad? I have all these resolutions for 2010, what happened in 2009? I realized with my move from New York back to Cali, I ironically became gluttonous.  I began eating fast food and really not living up to my entrenched pescatarian ways.  I bought a car (although a prius), but walked less.  My dogs even walked less, because they now have a backyard they can lazily lay on.  I made loads of money, but my goal of paying off bills became true.  I always had bills to pay off.  The past three weeks I have been prepping on how to live my life, by listening to Tony Robbins to/from work.  New Years eve spent alone reflecting.  New Years Day cleaning out my closet.  Today will continue my winter cleaning, but a jump back into the world with a yoga class and some other items to check off the list.

New Years Resolutions

It is noon, the sky is dreary.  No sun shines, but yet no drops of rain fall.  Today is better than last night.  I ask myself how I want to spend my first day of the year, again a metaphor for the rest of the 364 days.   My great-grandmother (Lola) would always warn us to not buy anything on  new years day.   If we did so we were doomed to be broke and struggling the rest of the year.   Therefore, my day's activities would not touch any of my finances. I have so far spent the day ensuring that I maintain my goals... completing my collage post, cleaning out my closet, doing a thirty minute crosstrain work out, and cooking a healthy meal.  I did this all with the background of the most recent biggest loser marathon playing in the background.   I have all these goals, but how can I ensure I stay motivated.  One day at a time, starting with today.  Clean out to let in.  I hear a master cleanse coming